If you haven’t seen it yet, this post is a SPOILER, so be forewarned!

I caught the latest entrant into the liquor advertising Colosseum last night and couldn’t help but shake my head in wonder.

It was for 1800 Tequila, a fine brand, I’m sure, but seriously, I challenge you to find someone who honestly, legitimately, cross-their-heartily LIKES tequila. And it’s not like I haven’t been around the Agave block – I’ve even got a couple of expensive bottles in my collection, so don’t look at this post as a reason to complain about the stuff… it’s the ad that got my goat.

It features Michael Imperioli (Cousin Christopher from the Sopranos) talking about how his bottle of 1800 “just poured me a shot” because of it’s nifty, wham-bang kick ass perfect-shot-measuring-top… tip the bottle upside down and the top fills with a shot (nothing earth shattering about that). He then turns to the bottle next to him (which is clearly a bottle of Patron), and basically accuses it of being lazy because it can’t measure out a shot of itself in it’s top.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there a part of the North American Global Man’s Creed that states where any person claiming to be a man must own at least one shot glass that he has either a) stolen from a bar, b) bought at Ron Jon’s Surf Shop or some other beach/party college/H.S. getaway, or c) received as an apartment/residence warming gift? Why the hell do I need my bottle of booze to measure me out a shot? And more to the point, when it comes to dispensing tequila (or ANY other booze for that matter) what self-respecting man is going to get their manties* in a knot if they’re pouring a little heavy?

And then what do you do with the shot in the top? Are you gonna shoot it, the jam it back on and pass it over to Steve so he can pound one back? Or do you transfer your perfectly measured shot to an actual shot glass for shooting, or a snifter for snifting, or simply pour it over the rocks ready for mixing? I kinda get it, really, but seriously?

If this is what it takes to sell more 1800 then I wonder what other companies could promote in the way of added conveniences…

Why not make a pen with somewhat erasable ink because scratching stuff out with a line is so 1885?

Or how about creating a key-chain-sized digital photo frame so you can take hundreds of ridiculously small pictures with you everywhere you go in a subtle attempt at ruining the eyesight of anyone and everyone you know?

Maybe a camera company can come out with a point&shoot that has a little mirror or screen on the front of it so that when I want to take one of those uber-flattering arm’s length self-portraits I’ll know it’s a beauty. Oh, wait a minute…

Whatever the reason behind the measured pour top (also called a jigger – sadly I have one on my bottle of Gibson’s…) I’d be interested to see if it was the novelty in the market or the star power of the advocate that sells more tequila.

But then again, as I said earlier, nobody really likes tequila anyway.

* Kudos to Scott for the manties reminder.

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