I’ve been chewing on this since I caught some of Barbara Walter’s 10 Most Interesting People of 2009 a week or so ago, and have to say that the entire show was a total sell out.

It’s shows like that where the focus rests solely on the celebrity flavour of the month/year that perpetuates the coffers for the loathsome paparazzi.

Let’s go through this list of potential Darwin Award Winners:

  1. Jacko’s Kids

    ... creeeepyyyy ....

    • I’ll give her this one – these kids, and the life that they’ve led to this point is fascinating…
  2. Jenny Sanford
    • A senator’s wife who found out her husband was cheating on her. Holy shit! Seriously?! My God, what is this world coming to!!? Unheard of!! How the frick is this fascinating? So not only has she been in the American national spotlight as “that poor woman”, now she’s involved in an in-depth interview to probe and expose her emotions and her take on it? Talk about rubbing salt in a wound… Come on, Bahbah, that’s weak… but wait, it gets weaker…
  3. Brett Favre
    • Again, what the hell is fascinating about a guy who can’t retire? He had his time, he’s still good, done. Why the hell do I care about why he didn’t want to retire? Next year will Jay Leno make the list? Lame.
  4. Sarah Palin
    • Ahh, Sarah. Brunt of SNL jokes for months, water cooler subject at american offices, spank bank entry for any number of political pundits, Palin is(was) fascinating, but not for what Bahbah interviewed her about. She was fascinating because she said the most ridiculous things in her quest to become Vice President and didn’t seem to learn how to NOT do it over and over again. Think about it, this woman not only wanted to be, but came pretty damn close to becoming the second-most powerful political figure in the world, and it was through endorsements and support from the general public!! THAT is what is fascinating! So, ok, there’s two out of ten… what next?
  5. Adam Lambert
    • Whatever. He can sing. He’s come out publicly. He wears too much eye makeup. He’s the Freddie Mercury of 2009 but sorry, Adam, you’ve been done before. The only reason Adam was on the list is because of the controversy around his rise to “fame” after not being chosen as THE IDOL. Yeah? What about Clay Aiken, or better yet, that dude that lost in the first season to Kelly Clarkson? Surely he’s up to something more than tuna sandwiches and bus rides! Get him on the phone!
  6. Kate Gosselin

    What's the point?

    • If I hear the name Kate Gosselin one more time… well, I won’t do much more than rant about it, but Sweet Christmas give it a rest already! Once again, a woman finds herself the victim of infidelity and the whole world is forced to sit through her pain and strength, her sorrow and her bravery, her … whatever. She treated her husband like an employee on national television, in an extremely stressful family situation, with an ever-present film crew, making money hand-over-fist, and now that’s coming to an end and mother’s everywhere are at a loss for something to do from 8-9PM Wednesday nights… You want fascinating? How about Octomom and the shit she’s pulled to get her share of the spotlight? She’s WAY more crazy than Kate, and has more kids in a weirder situation.
  7. Tyler Perry
    • Who? Must be an American thing… never heard of him. Sounded like he had a pretty average upbringing, now he’s an actor. Bravo. Next?
  8. Glenn Beck
    • Finally! Somebody who actually fits the criteria! He was a nobody until he started bitching about politics, and now he’s infamous for it. He’s got his own regularly scheduled show with tons of traffic, he gets lamb-basted and takes it, he dishes it out too. I thought Beck was the only LEGITIMATE entry on this list.
  9. Lady GaGa
    • Get lost. Lady GaGa is fascinating? No, Lady GaGa is a character played by a girl from New York. I call bullshit on that one. It’s an act! It’s a show! Of course she’s going to be different and unique, that’s what gets noticed! But that’s not fascinating! Bullshit.
  10. Michelle Obama
    • COME ON! Way to kiss ass, Bahbah. She’s the first lady, so what?

Sure, Lady Ga-Ga is a weird person and Adam Lambert could be called unique, but honestly, who gives a shit? Ever heard of shock factor? These people do what they do because they know it will get them press! That doesn’t make them interesting? No, it makes them glory-hounds! And the worst part of it is that BahBah fed into their megalomaniacal egos by showcasing them on her show!

I must be retarded because I just don’t see how Kate Gosselin or Brett Favre are more interesting than, say, you or me. I’m sure you’ve done some weird shit in your time, you still manage to do weird and fascinating shit now (although you might find it mundane, clearly Bahbah sees things differently) and honestly, REAL life – not the above listed celebratrocities – hands out way more interesting stuff.

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